Myth vs Truth

Love:  n. (1) an intense feeling of deep affection  (2) a person or thing that one loves.
v.  a deep romantic feeling or sexual attachment to.  [courtesy of Webster's online dictionary]


After paying attention to some of the status updates I've read on facebook, I've come to the conclusion that 99% of the people I'm connected to all share one thing in common.  Love.  The endless search for it.  The endless need to feel it. The endless desire to understand it.  How do you define something that a lot of people don't know what it is, what it looks like, or what to do with it even if/when they find it.  Let's look at what the world teaches us about love.

"A heart that hurts, is a heart in love".  If you're in love with someone, it's supposed to hurt.  Why would ANYONE enjoy pain?  So this quote is saying, if you're hurting because you love someone, it's SUPPOSED to feel that way.  It solidifies that your love is real.  Thank you, but I'll pass on THIS type of love. 

"No one falls in love by CHOICE.  It's by chance.  No one stays in love by chance.  It's by work  And no one falls out of love by chance, it's by choice."  So I can fall in love with anyone, even if I'm already in a relationship with someone else, and say it's by chance.  If one can CHOOSE to fall OUT of love, why can't someone choose to fall IN love?  This kind of love would make a slave out of those that believe this love is the real love.  You don't have a choice.  I don't want to experience a love that I feel I'm a prisoner to.  Thank you, but I'll pass on THIS kind of love also.

In 2009, American Idol hopeful Jordin Sparks is found singing "Battlefield" on youtube.  In this song, she talks about how vulnerable she feels because she's in love. " One minute it's love and the next it's like a battlefield.  Why does love always feel like a battlefield?"  According to this song, better put some armor on if you find yourself loving someone.  You need to protect yourself since love is the same as war.  If you're always fighting a war with the one you love, it's OK.  It's normal.  That's what love is.  I HATE confrontation.  I do not want ANY part of THIS kind of love.

Love is defined in many ways in the Bible.  The first is found in 1 John 4:8 "God is love."  Love is one of the main characteristics of God.  Since we are created in His image, we are designed by Him to have the capacity to love.  God created our hearts which makes us feel.  He also created the Love that makes it real.  The Bible speaks of 2 kinds of love:  agape, and phileo.  Agape love is the kind of love God pours out onto us and is displayed by the cross.  Agape love is God's love which is unconditional. The only way for us humans to experience Agape love is to have a relationship with God.  Non believers are incapable of experiencing Agape love since God IS Agape love.  God's love is giving without the expectation of anything in return.

Phileo love is the kind of love that both believers and non believers can experience.  Phileo is translated from Greek as "brotherly love".   This is the kind of love that both believers and nonbelievers have the ability to feel.  As humans, we have a tendency to have conditional love.  We base how much we love by the emotions and actions of those around us.  As believers, we are called to exhibit the type of love that God has shown to us.  Since we as believers have the ability to experience God's love, we are taught to extend that love to those around us. 

The kind of love that I want to experience is that which doesn't make me prisoner, that which doesn't hurt, and that which doesn't feel like I'm fighting a war. 


THIS is the love I want to experience.  1 Corinthians 13:4-7  One that I can make mistakes and won't be held against me.  [it keeps no record of wrongs]  One that doesn't have an ulterior motive [it is not self-seeking]  One that will never fail [always perseveres]  We are imperfect beings incapable of ever producing anything perfect.  The only way to experience this perfect Love is through a relationship with the One that created it.  According to the Bible, Love is displayed by caring in action.  Love is not something we feel, but rather Love is something we DO.

A Christmas to Remember

Immanuel, translated "God with us."

 

 

When I was young, my mother and my father were divorced.  In fact, as far back as I can remember, my parents were never together.  When I think of my childhood, I have good memories, but there are quite a few not so good memories too.  Both of my parents eventually remarried and eventually had more children with their 2nd spouses.  I have one sister that shares the same mother and the same father as I do.  The other 6 have only one parent that we share. 

 

The relationship I had with my step-mother was as though she had given birth to me, and as this relationship developed, the relationship between my mother and myself became estranged.  My mother and I had a rough patch where we didn't speak to each other for a period of time.  Looking back on it, I was hurting, but I didn't know what from.  Later, I would learn that divorce hurts a LOT more than just the parents involved, no matter how old you are.  It SUCKED being a kid and having to decide which side to be loyal to the most.  It was like trying to cheer for both teams playing against each other.  It's not natural.

 

In a previous post I mentioned that I was baptized for the first time in January of 2012.  I KNEW my life would be different....but I had no idea the works God had in progress.  There was a point in my life I thought I would never live to see the day that the relationship between my mother and I would be the kind that my heart desired for so long.  We didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things, and it seemed we were destined to not agree on anything.  After being baptized, I realized that God is a God that can restore ... and He's the ONLY one that can restore.  When our relationship with God isn't right, no other relationships in our life can be right.  I had a conversation with my step mother shortly after being baptized about my mother.  I was confused on what I needed to do to mend that broken relationship.  In my step-mother's words, "You need to pray for your mother.  God calls us to pray for those relationships we have a difficult time with."  This seemed like the best advice I had ever been given.  I had tried several other attempts, but I had never actually prayed for my relationship with her.  It was at that time I began praying for her, for my sisters, and for their hearts to hear God's voice.  I prayed for restoration, for peace, and for them to someday know the awesome power of God's love.

 

Fast forward to late summer of 2013.  I received a call from my mother telling me that her and my sister were part of a re-affirmation of faith ceremony taking place at the church they had been attending.  Hold on.  WHAT???!!!!  MY  MOTHER AND SISTER WERE AFFIRMING THEIR FAITH IN CHURCH??!!!!  God is so FAITHFUL. 

 

This Christmas, I have a lot to rejoice about.  I have a new husband, a new family, a new life to share with my best friend.  God has blessed me with so much more than I will ever deserve.  I was asked what I wanted for Christmas, and to be honest, I have NOTHING I want or need.  I received the most amazing gift last night.  It was unexpected, but definitely the best gift ever.  It was the Resurrection Life Church's annual Women's Christmas Tea.  I decided to host my own table and decorate it all girly and Christmasy and invite some pretty special women in my life to come.  This included my mother, my step mother, and my 3 sisters.  This also meant that my mother and my step-mother would be sitting across from each other at the same table.  This has never been done before. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed that God would allow this night to happen.  After sending the invites out to all the ladies, I was overwhelmed by the response.  Everyone invited was coming.  And for the record, my mother and step-mother knew about each other coming before the tea, and yet they both were happy to come. 

 

At the Christmas Tea, our guest singer/speaker was Ilonka Deaton.  If you have never heard of her or her voice, you MUST.  She is extremely talented and gifted and I could listen to her sing me to sleep every night.  Simply Amazing.  You can find her here:  ILONKA DEATON.  Ilonka's testimony is beautiful.  It's a story of triumph and victory.  I had NO idea what was about to happen.  My older sister, the one that we share both the same parents, broke down crying at the end of Ilonka's testimony.  In her words, "It was like I was the only one in the room and she was speaking directly to me."  My younger sister, whom we share only the same mother, shared later that she heard God's voice speaking directly to her as Ilonka was speaking.  My mother and my step-mother sat at the same table across from each other and laughed together.  WHAT??!!!  MY MOTHER AND STEP-MOTHER SAT ACROSS FROM EACH OTHER AND LAUGHED TOGETHER.  This had never happened in the history of my mother and step-mother.  My sisters were hearing God's voice for the first time EVER!!!  THIS was the best Christmas gift God could ever have given me.  Seeing my family come together in God's name was one thing.  Knowing they could hear him was something completely different.  I couldn't help but cry tears of phenomenal Joy that this occurred, and I got to witness it!  God orchestrated this entire event JUST for this moment.  I just got to be his hands, feet and mouth to follow through with His plan.  There is no greater gift or feeling that could ever replace that.  No amount of money, no amount of material gifts that I could ever receive that would replace the Joy that filled my heart. 

 

I am so thankful for everything I have been blessed with, but I am the MOST thankful for God's amazing love being poured out onto the women in my life that are the most special to me.  The best part is that after THIS life, we will spend eternity praising the One that made moments like this possible.